Now it could understand and empathize with that little dog from back then.
It also wanted to seek her attention—her entire gaze and all of her love.
On their travels, people would always ask what their relationship was—because they looked more natural than lovers, more intimate than siblings.
At times like this, Xiaoya would always say: “This is my husband.”
And it would say: “This is my wife.”
These were titles Xiaoya had learned from movies. How wondrous human forms of address were—“mine” was like mutual belonging, possessing a firm and unquestionable sense of ownership.
───♡───
Little Tooth’s Diary
December 1st, Sunny.
At first, I wanted to study medicine and learn first aid in order to protect Big Tooth. But when I grew up, Big Tooth became even stronger. It was no longer afraid of the sun, was as tall as the buildings of Tiandong Base, and my childhood ideals suddenly became very childish, very laughable. I felt so dejected.
Big Tooth always walks very fast. No matter how I chase from behind, I can’t catch up.
I want to play a role by its side, want to become more capable, but things never go as I wish. Sigh.
I told Big Tooth about this thought.
In the afternoon we played with building blocks—we often play this kind of game, seeing who will cause the collapse after pulling out a block. The loser gets strips of paper stuck on their face, or has to let the other do whatever they want at night.
Big Tooth told me that I am actually the innermost, most core block. If Little Tooth were pulled out of its life, its world would collapse. So even though I’m not tall enough, I play a crucial role. Fine, I admit that at that moment I was coaxed into feeling better.
And I thought about it—Little Tooth doesn’t exist for others; she exists to shine for herself. Just like fireflies lighting up in the swamp, it’s not for passersby to think they’re pretty.
Big Tooth raised me seriously for many years, not to make me repay a “mommy,” and not to make me protect “Jiang Ze.”
Big Tooth said it only wanted me to live healthily and happily.
When it said that, it became Little Tooth’s mommy again. Only a mother would have that kind of tone.
Still, I really like this job. Even though I’ve strayed far from my original intention, I like the feeling of rescuing people in ruins and helping others. Especially since this year I received my first banner of commendation, which read: Brave and Fearless Captain Little Tooth!
───♡───
January 18th.
I learned from Uncle Deng Feng the general location of where my parents had been before they died. I’ve rescued many people from beneath ruins, but this was the first time I felt afraid, because those were my parents’ remains. Especially because Uncle Deng Feng said that they had loved me very much and had greatly anticipated my birth.
Collecting the remains was helped by Big Tooth. Because the ruins were very deep down, I almost thought we wouldn’t find them. But I turned up identity information inside the clothes. And a pacifier in a pocket.
Big Tooth touched my head and let me hold it and cry. I wanted to cry, so I held Big Tooth and cried for a long time. I soaked its clothes and chest with tears. Big Tooth said it felt a bit at a loss, not knowing how to comfort me. But before it went to buy ice cream, I stopped crying.
Because I thought they would want to see me smile, not cry.
I brought them back to our home in the swamp. In our flower field, behind that large clump of wild roses, there is a very lovely patch of grass. I liked to roll around on it when I was little. So I buried them there. The pit was dug by Big Tooth. I often go there to sit for a while.
I discovered Big Tooth in front of the grave.
I heard it telling them about my experiences from childhood to now. As if reporting to them.
It said that when I was little I liked rolling in the mud, and also liked playing with big leeches, and scribbling all over the house. I suspect it was tattling on me.
It was burning things.
Oh—it was my childhood exam papers.
But Big Tooth, why did you burn the exam papers where I scored zero for them?
I was sad for a period of time.
But very quickly I thought—there are so many people who love me in this lifetime—
Little Tooth is truly very lucky.
So then, I wasn’t sad anymore.
Big Tooth said it would take me out to clear my head. Snow mountains, deserts, or hills?
I don’t care at all. As long as I can be together forever with the family I love, that’s enough!
───♡───
In the end, they still chose to go on vacation to the snow mountain range. Because Jiang Xiaoya suddenly wanted to go climb Mount Everest.
Even though it was the end of the world, Mount Everest’s height was still the highest in the world.
On their journey, they would often encounter some survival squads scattered outside the cities. The little dog was warm and good at socializing; she wanted to make some new friends to dilute the previous sorrow. Survival squads in the apocalypse always had tired eyes. But they would also sing together, chat, and tell jokes. This was humanity’s innate sense of humor. Jiang Xiaoya listened to them talk about those experiences. People in the apocalypse always had a kind of optimistic spirit: look forward, don’t look back. People around them fell one by one, but they couldn’t sink into grief. If love was gone, there was still friendship; even if everything was gone, they still had to carry the share of those who had died and keep living.
And so she felt those sad things drift away lightly, like snowflakes.
As for the swamp monster, it heard the people’s conversations. It discovered—actually, humans weren’t all that hateful.
It was the dark and dangerous swamp. Once it squatted behind the little dog, its dangerous aura and towering body would give people great pressure. So it only accompanied her in silence, never making a sound. But even so, it made friends too.
Below the snow line, near an abandoned observation station, they encountered a pure white fox. That beautiful and lonely creature was injured; a torn wound on its front paw made it impossible for the snow fox to hunt. The swamp monster saw it. It placed canned food on a rock by the snow and did not approach. Later, that snow fox followed them for a long time, guiding them to an exit through the vast snow mountains where the road ahead could not be distinguished.
Jiang Xiaoya would occasionally feel that Big Tooth, compared to humans, was more like that snow fox.
In fact, Jiang Ze also had one proper human friend. That was a taciturn soldier from the Federation. While killing water ghosts on the road, it casually rescued that dying soldier. Because Jiang Xiaoya’s biological parents had both been soldiers, afterward, whenever it encountered someone wearing a military uniform, it would go and pick them up. The soldier it picked up was like a silent small mountain. Jiang Ze was also like a silent small mountain. After saving the person, the two mountains remained silent for a long time—one not knowing how to express gratitude, the other spacing out while staring at the flames.
Because they were both taciturn, they somehow became good friends.
Jiang Xiaoya said that friendship was the most beautiful spark of fire in this cold world. So it earnestly practiced this beauty, often asking new friends to zone out together in the snow.
“……”
“……”
Later, it saw its good friend on the television of a travel bus—the Federation’s General Pei xx. As for which Pei exactly, it was a rare character; it didn’t recognize it.
—In fact, it didn’t really recognize the character Pei (裴) either. At first, the swamp monster thought its friend’s surname was Jiu, the jiu (韭) from chives.
But this did not affect their silent friendship. It would call its friend. About half an hour later, when Jiang Ze felt that the “beauty” should be enough, it would hang up. A few seconds later, a busy tone would come through the receiver—the other side had tacitly hung up as well.
Jiang Xiaoya found this friendship extremely magical. She asked it whether it felt the beauty of friendship.
It did not feel it—but it was willing to try everything beautiful in the world that Xiaoya spoke of.
The wind and snow were fierce on the way up Mount Everest. Because all the facilities and road markers had been destroyed, they got lost. They probably didn’t climb the real Everest at all, only some unknown snow mountain. But since their oxygen was running out, this was good enough.
Wrapped in bulky mountaineering gear, Jiang Xiaoya trudged upward with difficulty. It wanted to carry her on its back, but she refused, leaning on trekking poles and climbing until her cheeks were flushed red. It liked her gaze at that moment, as if she possessed the ambition to conquer the world.
So it didn’t insist. Instead, with a kind of wondrous parental pride, it stood at the summit waiting for her to climb up—
Look, this is its Xiaoya.
She would feel sad and hurt, but would not sink into sorrow; she would feel afraid and timid, yet still possess the courage to move forward again and again.
At a relatively flat saddle, she stopped, hands braced on her knees as she panted. A howling gust tore through the thick fog, briefly lifting the veil of the snow mountains.
Golden sunlight from the sun pierced through the clouds, refracting into a dazzling Tyndall effect.
Crystal-clear snow grains clung to her face. Her snow goggles were pushed up onto her forehead, revealing a face reddened by the cold yet smiling brilliantly. The roaring wind swept up her long hair and the scarf serving as a veil; snow spray in the cold wind rushed past—
She turned to smile at it, draped in a wedding dress made of snowflakes.
Big Tooth! I made it up!
It was willing, for the feeling of that moment, to return from the heavens to the earth.
