How to take the initiative to kiss, how to take the initiative to love someone, are all skills that take a lifetime to learn. It doesn’t know anything about French kisses; it just follows instinct—thinking she is very sweet, so it goes to draw from her, to plunder her. But beneath the ferocity, there is also an iceberg-like tenderness hidden under the surface of the sea. After the stormy, violent kiss, there is also a compensatory gesture—continuing to kiss the corner of her lips in small, fragmented touches.
Her head was a mess, her lips bright red. Like a little puppy whose cowlick had been messed up.
It felt its stomach burning from hunger, so it rubbed against her cheek and said: A little hungry.
She had been kissed dizzy; when she came back to her senses, she asked if it wanted to open the fridge and cook some late-night snacks or something. It grabbed her wrist, used a little strength, and pulled her into its arms. The boy lowered his head and continued to kiss her. His voice was hoarse and pleasant: Hm? No need. Kissing makes you not hungry.
Jiang Ze has separation anxiety. Maybe also touch starvation. It longs for her the way one longs for rain and humidity.
Every time she tried to stand up, she would be dragged back by it, pressed into its arms and kissed.
She wanted love, wanted passion and its desire. Only then could it prove that she was truly loved, and not just coaxed over by it with perfunctory tricks. But the puppy only needed a little bit of passion as proof.
Yet she was immediately drowned by an overwhelming blaze.
A volcanic eruption, the sky collapsing and the earth splitting.
She was melted just like that, burned into ashes. In breath and temperature, she tasted an unprecedented desire and searing heat. The light rain outside the window could not extinguish this flame; instead, it increased the humidity and ambiguity in the air. It wasn’t until she completely ran out of breath, and it was about to lose control of itself, that it finally stopped.
She cared a lot about the small wound on her lip where she had been bitten, and the puppy complained about it unhappily.
It sat up slowly, steadied its breathing, walked over and pinched her chin to take a look: Mm, it did get bitten a little.
Its gaze was indeed filled with suppressed desire. She looked at it warily, always feeling that it would continue kissing her. But in the end, it still slowly let her go, because it noticed some marks on her wrist left from gripping her too tightly.
The night ended in the sound of rain. She fell asleep lying in its arms. Because she felt that she was already a girlfriend now, she wanted to cling to Big Monster and sleep like she did when she was little.
That was very tormenting. It had been honest, yet also had a certain restraint—at least it was unwilling to immediately expose its appetite and deeper desire, worried that doing so would scare her. So the whole process always felt very arduous, and she even insisted on clinging to it like an octopus. It felt that Jiang Xiaoya might be plotting to harm it.
However, the moment of cuddling together and listening to the rain was truly too peaceful and beautiful.
They clearly heard each other’s breathing and heartbeat.
When they were little, Big Monster and Little Monster would cuddle together like this—like a big cat and a little cat keeping each other warm. No matter how the wind blew or the rain fell outside, Big Monster’s long hair could help Little Monster block everything. They had long been used to that feeling of leaning on each other. It was just that because they grew up, because of various reasons, they had to separate.
But they still liked best that kind of childhood closeness, that feeling of hearts pressed tightly against hearts.
Like two halves of an orange, merging into one at this moment, becoming whole.
───♡───
Jiang Xiaoya felt that the way she conducted this relationship was very much like Cao Cao killing someone in a good dream—suspicious by nature. Every time, she had to pry open its eyelids to take a look: Big Monster, Big Monster, do you still desire me, love me?
Only after getting a satisfactory answer could she settle down; if she didn’t get one, she would cling to it like a ghost.
Moreover, the puppy not only needed to check whether it was genuine, but also had to regularly inspect whether Jiang Ze’s desire and passion were still within the shelf life. Every time she pushed it to the point where it had no choice but to lose control, she was satisfied—climbing onto it, glancing around as she inspected it, then stamping a mark of “passed inspection” on its face.
And since they were under the same roof, this became a kind of sweet torment.
That was the first week after their feelings had been fully expressed.
In the morning, when it was washing its face with cold water, she squeezed in, stood on tiptoe on the top of its foot, and then began squeezing toothpaste on her own. Water droplets slid down its face, and it almost thought it was dreaming and seeing things. What kind of posture was this? In the early morning, she was still drowsy, her hair sticking up, the hems of her sleep pants rolled up a little. Standing on the top of its foot, she would unconsciously lean backward.
It stared at her for a long time, then simply pressed both large hands down on either side of her. Leaning down to envelop her, it stared at her in the mirror, intending to see what exactly she wanted to do.
It asked her: Is brushing your teeth like this fun?
The boy’s voice in the morning was also hoarse; besides its fierce wildness, there was an extra trace of sexy languor. Like a lion that had just woken up. She felt her legs being grabbed, immediately gurgled bubbles out of her mouth, wiped her face, and then dashed away in a flash.
The boy snorted.
Little brat.
───♡───
Still the first week. The little brat wanted to help it blow-dry its hair. Because Jiang Xiaoya said she was a girlfriend now, and she had to take care of it too. This was, of course, very good. After all, after being the one to hold the puppy down and blow-dry its hair for more than ten years, having such an experience was rare; the boy was even a bit flattered.
The girlfriend told it to spread its legs—mm, she wanted to stand in the middle so it would be more convenient to blow-dry its hair.
Alright.
It stepped back a little and obediently did as told.
But she discovered that even sitting down, it was still very tall, and her arms were getting a bit sore. She nudged it; it obediently leaned back against the sofa. She then simply knelt astride its waist. Finally, the boy’s breathing grew slightly rapid. That forced composure cracked, revealing the surging undercurrent hidden beneath the calm, stirred up by her. Only then did she release her hands.
Magnanimously leaving its embrace.
It felt very helpless. Because suppressing its desire for her and its hungry appetite was already very difficult. And she still had to keep using this method to verify it.
On the weekend of the first week, it finally couldn’t take it anymore and decided to have a proper talk with Jiang Xiaoya. That night, it picked her up, pressed her down opposite it, and told her that she was not allowed to do this anymore. It indulged her and tolerated her, but she could not continue to push her luck.
She nodded, indicating that she would never do it again in the future.
In reality, the puppy’s big ears let it go in one ear and out the other.
Good attitude, repeatedly incorrigible.
She really loved watching Jiang Ze be forced to break that layer of calmness and composure that belonged to a guardian, and fall because of her. Especially when it was helpless, yet had to give way to her because of a certain guardian-like restraint. After all, it was still slowly changing; it was impossible for it to completely bare all its desire at once.
Those moments of suppression let the puppy taste the pleasure of pushing its luck, and experience the sweetness of love for the first time. It was different from the blandness of familial affection—it was sweet white wine.
The second week.
The puppy discovered that, aside from sweetness, there were also very realistic benefits—
She was a girlfriend now, and her status in the household had skyrocketed. In the past, she had yielded to Jiang Ze’s tyrannical authority and lived very miserably at home. The moment the boy picked up a broom or a slipper, she could only be chased all over the floor like a cockroach.
Back when Jiang Xiaoya was in her chunibyo1chunibyo (中二病): literally “second-year middle school syndrome.” A Japanese slang term referring to an adolescent phase marked by exaggerated rebellion, grandiose fantasies, and delusions of specialness or dramatic destiny; often used humorously or self-mockingly. rebellious phase, she always fantasized about turning things around like a serf singing liberation songs, and pulling out Jiang Ze’s oxygen tube when she got old.
Now, thirty years east of the river, thirty years west of the river. Jiang Xiaoya realized she no longer had to be miserable—someone else was. She could swagger through the house, walk sideways, even lie down and move; she no longer needed to fear the poisonous beatings from Mom.
Before, when Jiang Daya beat her up, it was only natural and right. Now, if the boy beat her, it was domestic violence.
She alone could occupy three sofas, and Jiang Ze could only serve as her seat cushion and footrest.
She played on her phone until day and night were indistinguishable, played games until she was drunk on life and death, doing everything she had never dared to do in front of Mom. In the past, if she went to sleep at two in the morning, Jiang Ze would definitely scowl and make her go to bed. But now, she could even demand that it stay up late with her to watch movies.
Every time it wanted to lecture her, she would bring up her current status, saying that young couples nowadays were all like this.
It didn’t know how to be in love. What little understanding it had came from television, and from observing humans. Fine—normal, young couples really were like this. Things like strolling the streets together, riding bikes for fun, doing things they were interested in together. The boy also tried playing Jiang Xiaoya’s games. But because his hands were too big and the controller too small, he was always bullied by Jiang Xiaoya.
Being bullied one-sidedly, of course, didn’t make for a great gaming experience. But it still seriously accompanied her, letting her bully it.
It was just that it found it still couldn’t stand Jiang Xiaoya staying up all night, or Jiang Xiaoya eating junk food. Balancing these two identities was really a bit difficult. At first, Jiang Ze felt that continuing to discipline her the same way as before wasn’t very appropriate anymore. After all, it wasn’t just a guardian now. Being too naggy would easily make her rebellious.
But as time went on, the puppy became more and more arrogant.
Jiang Daya had raised Jiang Xiaoya very well and very healthily. Her lifestyle habits were excellent—she never stayed up late, was an outstanding human who developed morally, intellectually, physically, aesthetically, and through labor; she obediently wore her sweater and socks properly, helped sweep and mop the floor. Now, overnight, everything returned to square one. When Jiang Ze told her to go east, she insisted on going west—not only eating her third ice cream of the day right in front of it, but also placing her long, slender legs into its arms.
When the boy called her by her full name, not only was she no longer afraid of it, she even kicked it.
Jiang Ze stared at her.
It began to suspect what exactly this thoroughly bad thing in front of it had gotten together with it for—perhaps simply to realize her goal of pulling out its oxygen tube several decades in advance.
Jiang Xiaoya didn’t notice at all that Jiang Ze was gradually starting not to fall for her routine anymore.
At the beginning, it was just at a loss because of these two identities. But Daya was, after all, much more mature than she was. It quickly found the balance point. Because it discovered that if everything was done entirely according to what Jiang Xiaoya called the “normal couple” mode, it simply wouldn’t work. Because they were not normal from the very beginning—if anything, they were much more complicated.
It certainly knew that love meant tolerance and indulgence. But there was also no rule that said: Jiang Ze had to surrender without resistance.
The anger bar that belonged to Mom was accumulating. The skill gauge gradually filled up through days of patience—it was about to unleash a big move. The puppy was still happily sprinting, doing all the things parents forbid right in front of a guardian. It was just too exhilarating!
Until one holiday morning, when she burrowed into its arms again, brushed her teeth like before, and then wanted to make a clean escape.
Suddenly, she realized she had been pinned down, unable to break free.
Every little rascal likes to see a tolerant person reveal an expression of barely suppressed endurance, and because of the other party’s indulgence, feel a kind of hidden thrill. Especially when leaning her forehead closer and discovering that restrained expression, there was a pleasure like dancing on the tip of a blade.
A large part of the reason was that in the past, when Jiang Ze was provoked to the point of anger, it could only become fluffy.
Its strength was too great; it couldn’t really beat her.
But now, it had found a new way to make her stop causing trouble.
She sensed something was wrong and wanted to slip away, but its broad embrace was like iron. Uneasily, she rose onto her toes and called Jiang Ze.
In the mirror was reflected the boy’s just-awakened, slightly languid face. He answered with a low, hoarse mm, then bent down, his gaze passing over her shoulder, firmly locking onto her eyes in the mirror.
It kissed her earlobe, its breath carrying the faint weariness of early morning. Then, a large hand gripped her waist. Earnestly, steadily, almost meticulously, it continued kissing her.
She kicked at it, bit at it in a messy panic.
It accepted everything without protest, pulled her legs back, and continued kissing.
It was extremely calm, and very sincerely told her: Baby, you’re finished.
Footnotes
1
chunibyo (中二病): literally “second-year middle school syndrome.” A Japanese slang term referring to an adolescent phase marked by exaggerated rebellion, grandiose fantasies, and delusions of specialness or dramatic destiny; often used humorously or self-mockingly.
