When Jiang Xiaoya was in elementary school, her ideal type was someone just like her mommy: handsome, and not very smart.

A handsome idiot like that was truly the kind of perfect partner you couldn’t find even if you searched with a lantern!

But it had recently become very silent. Once it stopped talking, it seemed much smarter.

Only then did she realize that Jiang Ze was actually a very dangerous, very attractive male. Of course, that was on the premise that it didn’t open its mouth to shout at Jiang Xiaoya to put on long johns.

Usually it was Jiang Xiaoya who went cold with her mom. This was the first time Jiang Ze had become taciturn, the usual nagging gone, quietly cooking in an old man’s tank top, not even sparing Jiang Xiaoya an extra glance.

In Jiang Xiaoya’s eyes, it was very imposing. The kind of intimidation that went, “my mom will hit me with a slipper.” A big reason Jiang Xiaoya didn’t dare confess was that she was afraid that what she’d get after confessing would be a vicious beating from her mom.

She had reflected on whether she might have some sort of Oedipus complex. Because every time Jiang Ze revealed that tolerant, all-encompassing, always-there-to-clean-up-her-mess “mom” expression, she would want it to pat her head, want to become very small, curl up in its arms and never come out.

Just like when she was little—

But when she was little, she wouldn’t want to lift her head and kiss its chin.

She couldn’t help wanting to burrow into its embrace, to curl up in that steady, broad chest, clinging shamelessly to its side.

But it hadn’t been talking lately, and with that, the warm, motherly nagging was gone. She sensed on it a silent, beast-like sense of threat. It no longer cared to deal with her, and she thus lost the nerve she used to have—the nerve to cling to its arms as a matter of course and act spoiled.

The swamp monster’s silence was because it simply didn’t know how to face her.

That confusion was like the wild roses outside the window that no one ever pruned, growing crazily and entwining in its heart.

Being treated so coldly for the first time, Jiang Xiaoya went to ask it with a bit of unease, “Mom, don’t you love me anymore?”

The tall youth in the old man’s tank top squatted there, looked at her, and told her that if she had nothing to do, she should go mop the floors at home.

Because she had been disliked and given the cold shoulder by her mom, she sulkily took Ah Hua out to eat grass. She had a kind of savagely growing natural disposition; Jiang Ze had raised her very freely, and even after growing up she still liked to wreak havoc on the lawns and small animals within several li.

She discovered some human footprints on the ground. Following the footprints, she found more markers and devices left behind by an exploration team. Trailing them all the way, the outline of the Zhongxing Base in the neighboring city faintly appeared at the edge of her vision.

With the establishment and expansion of the Federation, humans who had been forced into steady retreat by water ghouls finally had a chance to catch their breath. This swamp had been the fearsome “Black Forbidden Zone” that struck terror into people’s hearts more than ten years ago. But as Jiang Xiaoya grew up and went out to attend school, the swamp had been quiet for many years.

Jiang Xiaoya was a bit worried that their target was Jiang Ze. Although, due to a certain tacit understanding, the Tiandong Base could coexist peacefully with the swamp, that didn’t mean other humans were willing to do the same. She hurried back home and told Jiang Ze.

The swamp monster went to Zhongxing City once. Jiang Xiaoya didn’t know what had happened. However, the next day, the news reported that a swamp had appeared near a certain research institute in Zhongxing City, that the institute had collapsed, and that personnel had been dispatched for rescue.

After it returned, it took Jiang Xiaoya to seal off the swamp. At the edge of the forest, solid ground turned into soft, dangerous marshland.

That still wasn’t enough. At the center of the swamp was actually a signal tower. It was precisely because of this thing that satellite signals could be transmitted out. They decided to destroy that signal tower. That way, this place would become unknown land that signals could not search.

The day they went to the signal tower was overcast.

They were both quiet and hardly spoke—lately it was always like this.

The signal tower was very tall, the entrance narrow; only Jiang Xiaoya’s build could squeeze inside. She wasn’t tall enough and couldn’t climb up. The silent behemoth looked at her, said nothing, and lifted its arm. She stepped on its shoulder, its large hand supporting her small calf, stuffing her inside.

Because it didn’t want to touch her, its movements were very fast.

She crawled inside. It stayed below, silently keeping watch over her.

However, after a long time, Jiang Xiaoya still hadn’t come out. It called out twice, “Xiaoya.” There was no sound from above.

Worried about her, it used both hands to tear through the steel as if ripping open a sheet of paper, ripping the narrow entrance into a wide opening and drilling inside. It bent its body and climbed upward along the pipeline, searching anxiously. Hearing footsteps, she turned her head in surprise.

“Jiang Ze, how did you get up here? It’s so narrow.”

It had started raining outside. Her hair and clothes were dampened by the rain that blew in. Jiang Ze silently shifted his position, stepping closer to her, blocking the rain drifting toward her.

The space was too cramped. Jiang Xiaoya could sense the grassy scent of the swamp emanating from Jiang Ze’s body. She saw rainwater flowing down along its hair.

In this small shelter from the wind, the two of their breaths silently intermingled in the damp air. As if noticing her prolonged gaze, it slowly lowered its head. In those lake-green eyes was reflected the small figure of her.

She was made a little flustered by this strange atmosphere, subconsciously wanting to pull back a bit, but behind her were the stairs.

The tall youth reacted quickly and steadied her, but out of concern that she might struggle, it didn’t immediately withdraw its arm, nor did it look at her, simply silently enduring her grip.

Her breathing was slightly hurried from the earlier danger and the tension of the moment. Around them there was only the sound of rain striking the pipes, and the sound of each other’s breathing. An indescribable tension quietly spread between the two of them.

In the cramped space, breaths crossed. Damp clothes clung to their bodies, dripping strands of hair entangled together. She lifted her head and saw its jawline. In her heart, a bold thought grew wildly like wild roses—to rise onto her toes and kiss it.

Her gaze wandered over its cheek like a yearning little bird.

She was attached to the sense of security of being steadily sheltered in its arms at this moment. Driven by a powerful impulse, she uncontrollably rose onto her tiptoes and, lightly—first like a chick pecking rice—kissed its Adam’s apple, then its chin.

With a trace of panic, she stammered, “Oh, Jiang Ze, sorry, it’s too narrow here, I accidentally bumped into you.”

It lowered its eyes to look down at her, its Adam’s apple rolling once, then quickly turned its face away. “Mm. Accident.”

It seemed to want to pull away. But she had already mustered her courage, lifting both hands to cup its face—its fingers curled inward. Its entire tall body grew tense and rigid in the cramped space. Holding that cold face, she clumsily kissed her way from the line of its chin up to its cheek. After a brief hesitation, a raw, trembling kiss finally fell on those tightly pressed thin lips.

Because of her nerves, her breathing was unprecedentedly rapid, her heartbeat so loud it was about to drown out the sound of the rain. The trembling kiss seemed to want to go further. But it had already slowly straightened up.

“Xiaoya.”

She wanted to pretend she hadn’t heard.

“Jiang Xiaoya.”

She tried to rise onto her toes again, but this time it reached out and, without allowing resistance, pressed her down to sit on the steps.

Her gaze still hadn’t left it.

It sighed, bent down, squatted, and met her eyes as she sat on the stairs.

“Xiaoya.” It lowered its voice, making it as gentle as possible. “Listen to me.”

It decided to have a talk with the child.

Outside the signal tower, the rain was loud. Inside this small shelter, it was deathly silent. It spoke in an exceedingly gentle, sincere tone.

It said that it loved her, but did not want her to become its partner. In its eyes, she was its baby.

It tenderly patted her head.

So, it was willing to forgive her offense, her overstepping.

But it was unwilling to accept her courtship.

Because it had learned how to be human, and did not want to go back to being a beast.

How many years could her fondness last? She was still very young, life was so long, but mommy could accompany her forever.

In the wind and rain, it said sincerely, “Xiaoya, Mommy loves you.”

At that instant, Jiang Xiaoya began to hate it. A surge of grievance and unwillingness turned into tears that swirled in her eyes. Sitting on the stairs, she looked at it and felt that the most detestable, most hateful person in the world was Jiang Ze. Couldn’t you just pretend not to see it? Pretend not to see her hopeful gaze, pretend that everything was accidental, unintentional. Then she could keep liking it. Forever half-pushing, half-giving in.

Why couldn’t you pretend not to see it?

The youth looked at her quietly.

Because it loved her.

“……”

In the heavy rain, it made things as clear as could be, its tone so gentle, its gaze so tolerant, like the kindest, most considerate mother in the world.

But this kind of consideration was too hateful. It made her feel that she truly didn’t know how to hate it properly. In the end, she slammed her forehead hard against the youth’s forehead and chest, as if she wanted to smash its head into a concussion, to ram a hole straight through that solid chest. It silently let her crash into the wall. It wanted to speak, but she no longer wanted to hear it continue, turning around and forcefully drilling out through the torn opening, fleeing the signal tower.

She wanted to run away from home, to leave it forever.

She hated it to death. Tears uncontrollably surged out. She felt like she had become the most pitiful little dog in the world, about to be drenched to death by the heavy rain. But the sky was uncooperative—after she ran out for two minutes, the rain stopped. Along the way, she cried as if there were no one in the world more pitiful than her. Her eyes were red, her nose was red. Like she had gone through an allergic reaction.

But heartbreak really was an extremely harmful allergic reaction.

She squatted by the river, and the behemoth carefully followed behind her. It didn’t dare go up and touch her. Nor did it dare make any sound.

Sensing that she had gradually quieted down, it cautiously moved to her side and handed over a piece of candy.

She sobbed and told it to get lost.

The behemoth then looked even more at a loss. It sat beside her, so huge, not knowing at all how to coax her. It could neither beat to death the person who had made her sad, nor find a way to make amends. Raising a child was really hard.

It looked at the reflections of the big monster and the little monster in the lake.

She cried from afternoon until dusk—actually, it knew that as long as it walked away, she would most likely stop crying. Children were like that; the more you responded, the harder they cried. But if it walked away, the little dog who had been hurt today would be too pitiful.

So it could only squat beside her and watch her cry. It turned into a pitiful, helpless stone statue. It was the sinner who had made the little dog sad, so even making a sound was a kind of sin.

Finally. It left, and she became even sadder and hated it even more. Because she felt that Jiang Ze didn’t want her anymore, that mommy was going to betray her and abandon her too. Grievance and anger engulfed her. However, crying was physically exhausting, and she soon felt tired from crying. And with mommy gone, the urge to perform also disappeared.

She hugged her knees, her swollen red eyes staring blankly at the heavy, dark lake water.

A tall figure squatted down in front of her, handing her an ice cream and coaxing her, “Baby, it’s all Mommy’s fault.”

“Stop crying, okay?”

She looked at it with hatred. Right now, Jiang Ze was her enemy—she hated it the most. She didn’t want to listen to it at all. She wanted to oppose it forever. But squatting in the grass was too uncomfortable. Mosquitoes in the lawn had bitten her all over, her legs had gone numb from squatting too long, and her soaking-wet clothes clung tightly to her skin, so cold that she sneezed.

She hesitated, wanting to ask her enemy to give her its jacket.

It immediately handed the jacket to her with great consideration, and very smoothly asked whether she wanted it to carry her back.

In the end, she didn’t refuse, gloomily lying on her enemy’s broad, familiar back.

What else could she do? It wasn’t like, just because she’d lost her love, she couldn’t even go home, right?

They had argued. They had fallen out. Jiang Ze was still her mom.

Still the one who would carry her home on its back, still the one who would cook for her.

The youth’s shoulders were broad. Lying on its back, she felt that familiar sense of reassurance, and the big gaping hole in her heart slowly healed along the way home.

She gloomily asked her enemy: if it weren’t her mom, would it fall in love with her?

Would she come to this swamp on a rainy day, then meet it, and the two of them fall in love at first sight?

It wanted very much to coax her. But clearly, there was no way to lie to her.

The swamp monster stopped. It said very honestly: then I might eat you.

After all, its eyesight had been very poor before—it was impossible to fall in love at first sight.

Her little head would bloom like tofu pudding.

It immediately felt her hateful gaze land on the back of its head.

It silently carried her toward home.

But, Xiaoya.

If I weren’t your mom. I’d just be a terrifying, strange swamp monster, no different from a stone by the roadside or a dark cloud. Drifting along in a daze, without self-awareness. Without human emotions, without any humanity. I wouldn’t fall in love with life, wouldn’t realize that I was capable of love.

Jiang Ze came back to life because he became Jiang Xiaoya’s mom.