The little dog, of course, wouldn’t be angry about being visited. She felt as though she was about to be drowned by snowflake-like happiness!
High school life was too busy, with homework that could never be finished, so she hadn’t realized that she actually missed Jiang Ze quite a lot. Only when she fell ill would that longing seep out through the cracks.
When she went alone to the infirmary to get an IV drip, she would always think of when she had fevers as a child, each time curled up in Jiang Ze’s arms. The boy’s figure was tall, able to block all the wind for her. Sitting alone on a chair, watching the drip bottle, she would think of her mother, think of Jiang Ze. On the freezing road back to the dormitory after the injection, she would also stage a wonderfully dramatic tragedy in her heart:
Jiang Ze, Jiang Ze, I’m so sick I’m about to die. If you could appear in front of me right now, I’d recover immediately.
When the little dog was thinking this, she lifted her head and saw Jiang Ze standing in the distance.
He had walked such a long way again to visit her.
So what could she do?
She could only be blown into a fluffy little furball by the swirling happiness!
She wanted to fly over to hug and wildly kiss her dear Jiang Ze.
Perhaps because they had been apart for a long time, even the familiar nagging no longer sounded so verbose. She begged him to be the first to come pick her up and take her home when there was a holiday tomorrow.
The next morning in class, Jiang Xiaoya received another love letter.
Jiang Xiaoya was very popular in high school as well. She was a loyal little dog, a good-tempered little dog—everyone would love a little dog. Xiao Chan liked her, the new classmates liked her, and Deng Fei, who had had a crush on her since elementary school, still liked her. She often found love letters in her schoolbag, inside her books.
The little dog was also very self-admiring. She felt she was incomparably good in the entire universe, so when she was liked, she would also think: I deserve it!
She received an unsigned love letter in her desk drawer, excerpting many popular online love phrases.
Among them was one sentence: As long as I’m by your side, I’ll feel happy.
She thought it was too mushy!
The little dog replied: Read.
She was still in a half-understanding, half-not-understanding state about hazy emotions. As for her understanding of aiqin, it was simply: not loving to eat it.
The next day, sure enough, Jiang Xiaoya saw Jiang Ze’s figure in the crowd at first glance.
She ran wildly in the snow. Jiang Ze shouted her name from behind, and she pretended the wind was too strong to hear him. The little dog rushed into the snowy ground and shouted into the wind and snow:
“Mommy, look, I drew a little dog in the snow!”
The little dog in the snow couldn’t see, and instead, because she wasn’t watching the road, she plunged headfirst into the snow, turning into a salt-crusted little dog.
The swamp monster grabbed her, seizing the back of her coat collar, and the little dog could no longer run around.
The boy couldn’t help but scold her a couple of times, like a worried parent.
But the snowflakes just kept falling onto the boy’s and the little dog’s heads and shoulders, gradually burying the footprints they had left on the way there.
They returned to their home in the swamp prison.
Jiang Ze called her to eat, and she ran over to drink the fragrant creamy mushroom soup.
Jiang Ze took off his apron. Jiang Ze sat down beside her.
She lowered her head and discovered that in the mushroom soup, Jiang Ze had added her an extra spoonful of sugar.
Outside the window, heavy snow was falling. On the television played background music that had remained unchanged for over a decade. Jiang Ze told her to eat properly and not watch TV.
On such an ordinary and tranquil day.
Jiang Xiaoya suddenly remembered that sentence from the love letter she had received that morning:
As long as I’m by your side, I’ll feel happy.
The thought startled her badly.
She was still too young, still unable to tell how many kinds of love there were. Where was the difference between familial love and romantic love? She couldn’t tell the difference between these two kinds of qin.
The little dog only instinctively drew close to it, clung close to it.
She subconsciously stopped calling it dear Mommy; instead, she called it dear Jiang Ze.
Murmuring this name was like reciting a “sesame, open up” spell.
The brat, with no sense of propriety, called Jiang Ze more and more boldly. The swamp monster gradually got used to it as well. Perhaps because they spent so much time apart—at least it was better than not seeing the child at all while she was at school. But the swamp monster wasn’t accustomed to human ways of speaking; it rarely said “I,” always saying “Mommy.” For example: Mommy is here, Mommy likes it.
Now Jiang Xiaoya asked: Jiang Ze, Jiang Ze, are you here?
It would answer: Jiang Ze is here.
It sounded a little strange. But everywhere in the swamp was strange! Little flowers blooming in winter, cows walking around wearing black-and-white scarves, and a strange clump of celery growing in the fields… so it wasn’t all that surprising.
Jiang Xiaoya learned from TV how to scoop snow with a spoon to make snow roses. She ran into the snow and toiled diligently for a long time, huffing and puffing as she pieced them together one by one into a huge bouquet of snow roses, then excitedly hugged it and went to give it to Jiang Ze.
Jiang Ze, Jiang Ze, do you like snow roses?
The massive creature lifted her up and looked at her hands, frozen red:
“I don’t like it, Jiang Xiaoya. Jiang Ze doesn’t like this.”
She said this was the result of all her hard work.
The tall boy was helpless and could only say:
“Jiang Ze wants Jiang Xiaoya to go back inside and warm herself by the fire. You’re not allowed to mess with this thing. You’ll get chilblains on your hands.”
She ran off dejectedly.
She said, “Jiang Ze has deeply hurt Jiang Xiaoya’s heart!”
Jiang Xiaoya had heard from people with boarding-school experience that in the first few days after coming home, you’re the parents’ precious baby; once the novelty period passes, you all become disliked nuisances.
Well then, Jiang Xiaoya had already felt this difference in treatment. She had gone from being fussed over in the first few days to being disliked in all sorts of ways now. Even when she ran to the kitchen to help, Jiang Ze dragged her out. It threatened that if she touched the stove again and got her face all black, she’d be kicked out of the house.
Her face was violently wiped clean by Jiang Ze, leaving her whole self like a scruffy little dog swept by a gale.
She decided to hate Jiang Ze and give it the cold shoulder until school started!
When night came, Jiang Xiaoya felt a little thirsty and went downstairs to drink some hot water, only to see the swamp monster—very large—staring blankly at the snow roses on the windowsill.
She set aside past grievances and ran over enthusiastically to ask Jiang Ze, Jiang Ze, Jiang Ze, do you need Jiang Xiaoya’s help?
The very large Jiang Ze lowered his head.
—Next spring, the snow roses will melt.
The little dog thought, so Jiang Ze was sad because of this.
But every year, the little dog would make them for it!
Jiang Ze could start looking forward to next year’s snow roses right now!
But very quickly, the now-smarter Jiang Ze learned to put the snow roses into the refrigerator. That way, every time it cooked, it could take a look—until the next year, when it could receive new ones.
The carefully kept snow roses lay quietly in the refrigerator. Among Jiang Ze’s firewood, rice, oil, and salt, they alone occupied a single compartment.
───♡───
On the day she left home, Jiang Xiaoya felt a little reluctant to part with her dear Jiang Ze. She kissed the boy’s cheek and boarded the bus back to school with lingering reluctance. She leaned against the window and suddenly felt that growing up meant saying goodbye to home again and again. Saying goodbye to Jiang Ze.
However, in the heavy snow, the bus broke down on the road. She got off with the adults and waited for a long time, only to be told that the snow ahead had been falling for too long, the road was icy, and it was no longer passable. Jiang Xiaoya wanted to call Mommy, but it was already too late; the bus company provided overnight lodging. They said there would be a blizzard tonight.
Jiang Ze was very powerful. It could overturn an entire city, yet in low temperatures, because its body contained too much water, it would freeze. She didn’t want it to turn into a snowman.
At night, Jiang Xiaoya received a notice: because of the blizzard, school would begin winter break early. She warmed herself by the fire in the hotel lobby. From time to time, she looked toward the blizzard outside. Until everyone had left and only she remained in the lobby. She still sat there. Because she was worried that her dear Jiang Ze would come looking for her.
As if by some kind of telepathic connection.
She shot upright at once. Taking a flashlight and a thick overcoat, she ran outside. The wind and snow were especially fierce; she could barely keep her footing. Just when she had been looking for a long time and was so cold she wanted to go back—
She saw, not far away in the forest, a huge snowman appear.
Covered in accumulated snow, the swamp monster had become a moving snowman.
Every time the little dog knew that Jiang Ze was very good, it would become even better. And she was merely a tiny little dog in this world—loved and cared for in this way—how could she possibly restrain herself from plunging into this snowstorm?
So she plunged right in.
The instant the little dog reached it, the great snowman immediately pulled her into its arms, blocking the howling snowflakes.
It wanted to take her home, not let her stay here alone. The moment the blizzard had begun, it had hurried over in worry. But the outside temperature was truly too low. Only after seeing the little dog did the swamp monster belatedly realize that its body had grown a bit stiff; in weather dozens of degrees below zero, it seemed to be freezing inside. It wanted to speak, but its tongue also seemed to be frozen.
It could only be dragged anxiously by the little dog toward the hotel’s fire pit. Luckily, before entering, it barely managed, with its last bit of willpower, to make itself a little smaller; otherwise, Jiang Xiaoya wouldn’t have been able to pull it inside.
Jiang Xiaoya reached out and touched it, thinking she had touched a corpse taken out of a refrigerator!
The swamp monster tugged at her, signaling that it wasn’t dead. But Jiang Xiaoya was still terrified.
Because its limbs were frozen stiff, it could only let Jiang Xiaoya turn it into a Christmas tree covered in blankets and coats.
The stove didn’t seem to be of much use. She used hot water to wipe its face back and forth, trying to make the stiff Jiang Ze warm up a little. But there was nothing she could do about its hands; the joints could barely move, so stiff they couldn’t straighten.
The little dog grabbed its large hand and rubbed its frozen fingers hard in front of the fire. Those long, well-defined fingers—once, between them there had been the webbing of a fish; now it was gone, and to the touch they were even colder than ice.
The swamp monster felt that its hand had turned into her toy. She touched a small scar in the palm, paused in her anxiety, and curiously picked at it. The swamp monster immediately wanted to pull its hand back. It wanted to scold Jiang Xiaoya, but it couldn’t move.
And now, it wasn’t Mommy anymore—because it had run over on its own, it had been stripped of its title by the little dog. Now Jiang Xiaoya said that she was the Mommy!
She scolded it. It had to listen. She wanted to rub its hands; it had no way to refuse.
Jiang Xiaoya grabbed those frozen-stiff hands and breathed warm air on them, wanting to coax back a bit of warmth.
The frozen Jiang Ze slowly began to be able to move.
It lowered its head and looked at the little dog breathing warm air. The swamp monster could endure pain, could endure cold and heat, but that feeling—of the little dog gently breathing over its palm—was like having its heart lightly scratched as well.
Or like walking down the road on a snowy day and being kissed on the tip of the nose by a snowflake.
Her breath was fluffy, a little ticklish.
It felt her soft breathing thaw the blizzard that had just moments ago been filling the sky, about to freeze it into a snowman.
That large hand, which had been quiet, suddenly closed around her.
“Xiaoya, your hands are very cold too.”
Jiang Ze’s broad palm easily wrapped around both of her hands. Her hands were soft and small, while the boy’s palm was rough from frequently hunting water ghosts. She wanted to pull her hands back; Jiang Ze wouldn’t allow it.
When Jiang Xiaoya was little, she had gotten chilblains once—itchy and painful. She was always crying out that it hurt. Over so many years, caring for her had become a kind of muscle memory.
Jiang Ze didn’t care that its own body was still stiff. Rubbing wasn’t enough; it imitated her and breathed warm air. Its breath wasn’t very warm, but it was still body heat.
So itchy!
The little dog tried hard to pull her hands away.
The curled fingers were patiently rubbed open again and again by the boy, until they slowly returned to a normal temperature.
On the night of the blizzard.
She heard Jiang Ze’s steady heartbeat, slower than a human’s. Its broad embrace enveloped her. In the raging blizzard outside, it was like an eternally stable, warm shelter.
She also heard the sound of her own heartbeat growing faster and faster inside her chest.
