Bai Jiangxin didn’t know how many adjectives it would take to fully describe her wonderfully vivid inner world—sometimes very quiet, sometimes very noisy; sometimes very lustful, sometimes yet very pure; obscene, loud, and fond of fantasizing, yet also lively, cute, and at the same time extremely vivid.

She also had a dark side, but that darkness was far overshadowed by her bright side.

Because of her gentle and quiet outward personality, no one could bear to hate her. But it was precisely because of this unedged personality that she was also very hard to remember.

Before accidentally forming a link with Xiang Di and learning of her inner thoughts, Bai Jiangxin truly had never paid attention to her, and had never thought she would like him.

If not for that accident, perhaps once high school ended, they really would have gone their separate ways like this. He would probably never know for his whole life, and she would never let him know for her whole life either.

At the beginning, Bai Jiangxin truly could not accept having someone so chirpy, and at the same time harboring improper thoughts about him, barging into the inner spiritual world that belonged only to himself. At that time, all he wanted was for this link to disappear as soon as possible, because her liking was a trouble to him, her affection was a burden to him. He couldn’t give her any response, and she was destined to be disappointed.

But gradually, under her subtle influence, he began to feel that it wasn’t impossible to accept.

Being liked by someone without reservation actually wasn’t such a troublesome thing. Even if this person had improper thoughts about him, it wasn’t something he couldn’t understand.

From being uncomfortable all over at the beginning, to now, he had started to persuade himself that she had those thoughts because she liked him.

Bai Jiangxin began to feel that it was fortunate that accident happened, fortunate that he knew.

But after knowing, what then? What were they supposed to do in the future?

Continue maintaining the status quo? Or try dating?

It was Bai Jiangxin’s first time, so he didn’t know how to handle this feeling Xiang Di was giving him.

Human emotions were truly too complex. He was willing to establish links with all things in the world. He had raised cats and rescued many stray cats and dogs, yet he alone was unwilling to have too much entanglement with people. He would rather spend an entire day doing nothing than go deal with those so-called people and their emotions.

In bonds between people, emotions need to be carefully maintained. But Bai Jiangxin didn’t want to. When a bond with someone made him feel troubled and uncomfortable, his brain would immediately activate a certain protection mechanism, building a thick wall around his heart. He would not communicate or face it, but would quickly pull himself out of the relationship, avoiding being trapped by emotional entanglements, avoiding getting hurt.

Back then, when his mother chose to leave him, he decisively cut off his dependence on her. When his father distanced himself from him, he quickly became independent, no longer needing his father’s care.

He had already gotten used to a lifestyle of keeping his distance from crowds. He was accustomed to immersing himself in a mental world that belonged only to himself, exhausted by having to deal with those messy social relationships.

This so-called hereditary illness that came with his genes seemed magical, but to Bai Jiangxin, it was nothing but a burden. He had no interest at all in other people’s worlds. He simply did not want to understand those people’s hearts.

Family, friends—he didn’t want too many. He didn’t need those hypocritical loves and concerns. They only annoyed him. He only wanted to accept people who were worth his loving.

Xiang Di liked him. He knew. But he only wanted to stay where he was and wait for her to come closer.

Because only this way could he ensure that he was able to control her. Only this way could he ensure that he would not be hurt by her someday in the future.

But Xiang Di’s liking was too blazing, blazing to the point that his heart burned along with it. Once, twice, three times, four times—he was human, he couldn’t withstand it. And thus, her every bout of timidity and retreat made him feel helpless and angry.

He gradually no longer had patience. He didn’t want to waste time waiting for her to come closer anymore. Yet when he heard her scolding herself in her heart, even shedding a tear because of her own cowardice, he suddenly understood her.

He was afraid of the price of being proactive—how was she not the same?

He was angry at her cowardice—how was she not the same?

Bai Jiangxin quietly looked at her sleeping face.

For the first time in his life, in those eyes that were always indifferent and hollow, he revealed flustered emotions toward someone.

What should he do with her?

What should he do with this ray of sunlight that had suddenly barged into his inner spiritual world?

Would she understand him? Understand that he had already run out of patience, understand that he very much hoped to be liked by her even more fervently, understand his hesitation and passivity, understand that he was actually ten thousand times more cowardly than her.

─── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ───

Xiang Di slowly woke up.

She hadn’t slept for long. Because her mind was still not very muddled, she remembered this was a KTV. The aftereffects of fruit wine came relatively slowly, and she had belatedly fallen asleep.

The private room was very quiet. She didn’t know why everyone else was gone. She looked around, and her gaze suddenly stopped at one spot.

She didn’t know where the others had gone, but Bai Jiangxin was still there.

He sat on the other side of the tea table. The atmosphere light shone on his black windbreaker jacket. His legs hung straight over the edge of the sofa, slightly apart. His arms were crossed over his chest, head tilted back against the sofa as he closed his eyes to rest.

Is he asleep too?

Xiang Di softly called him, “Bai Jiangxin?”

There was no response. He should be asleep.

She quietly stood up from the sofa, planning to quietly leave the private room and go outside to look for where the others had gone, but just as her fingers touched the door switch, she hesitated again.

So many good opportunities to interact with him today—because of her cowardice, she had missed them all.

But now he was asleep.

How long was she going to keep being this cowardly? There were only two months left before they graduated. She was about to say goodbye to her high school years, and to him.

Xiang Di slowly walked over to his side.

She quietly bent down, only wanting to take a good look at him, to carve his brows, eyes, and features into her heart. In the future, when she went to university, if she chatted with her roommates about high school memories, she could very proudly say that the boy she secretly loved in high school not only had excellent grades, but also had an especially great-looking face.

Among so many high school students across the country, how many people’s three years were as plain as water, with nothing but endless exams and endless homework. Yet how lucky she was—she had a secret crush worth showing off, and a period of secret love that filled her entire girlhood.

She had originally been looking at him with a very pure intention.

But as she kept looking, she unknowingly became absorbed. It was all because he was too good-looking. She lightly bit her lip, her gaze unconsciously stopping on his lips beneath his high, straight nose bridge.

She liked the mole on Bai Jiangxin’s Adam’s apple, but when liking someone, the place one most wanted to kiss was actually only that one place.

Which genius was it who invented the action of lips touching lips to express love?

She wanted to presumptuously steal a kiss on Bai Jiangxin’s lips.

She wanted to kiss him.

But she didn’t dare.

And if he wasn’t actually in a deep sleep, and woke up midway, she would die on the spot.

Xiang Di had reason. She knew she absolutely couldn’t do something like that. At most, she could only think about it in her heart.

【Want to kiss.】

【Really want to know what it feels like to kiss him, whether it’s really like in novels, that feeling of an electric current passing through the whole body.】

【If I could kiss him once, I would definitely remember that kiss for my whole life.】

Xiang Di gazed longingly and obsessively at his pale-pink lips. His lip shape was really beautiful—the cupid’s bow of his upper lip was distinct, the lower lip slightly full, and when pressed together they formed a line.

She hated eating pig tongue, beef tongue, duck tongue, all that. But if it were Bai Jiangxin’s tongue, she would be willing.

【Really want to have a French tongue kiss with such beautiful lips. I wonder what it feels like when our tongues tangle together?】

Xiang Di swallowed. In the end, she forcibly pressed this desire back into the depths of her heart.

Alright. Let’s stop here today. If she kept looking, it would be impolite.

She straightened up, planning to go look for the others.

The gap between the sofa and the tea table wasn’t wide. Still not fully recovered from her earlier fantasies, Xiang Di didn’t watch her step and was directly tripped by Bai Jiangxin’s slightly parted legs.

Her body suddenly pitched forward. Xiang Di had already prepared herself for a face-first fall, when suddenly a steady force wrapped around her waist from behind, pulling her entire body backward.

Xiang Di sat down in shock but without danger.

However, the sensation under her butt felt very off. It didn’t feel like the sofa.

It was harder than the sofa, and firmer. She could even feel a slight, resilient bounce through the fabric.

The feeling of being encircled around her waist hadn’t ended. Her eyes flew open wide as she realized she was sitting on Bai Jiangxin’s thigh.

Xiang Di quickly understood the intimate position she was in on Bai Jiangxin’s lap, and that it was Bai Jiangxin who had caught her, preventing her from falling face-first to the floor.

She didn’t dare turn her head, didn’t dare look. Until a slow voice sounded by her ear: “I see you didn’t even fall, so how come you’ve gone stupid?”

Xiang Di wanted to stand up, but she couldn’t bear to.

So she could only play dumb, use the excuse of not knowing what was happening to linger a little longer on his thigh.

She mechanically turned her head and collided with a pair of dark, deep-set eyes.

When did he wake up?!

He shouldn’t have discovered she’d been secretly watching him for several minutes, right?!

Bai Jiangxin’s lips curled.

He’d noticed long ago.

Not only had he noticed long ago, but he’d also very clearly heard all those little thoughts in her heart, completely and thoroughly absorbing them.

Breaths mingled, so close, close enough that if Xiang Di just stretched her neck, she could kiss him.

Xiang Di, of course, also realized this distance was dangerous. Perhaps she could pretend to lose her balance, stumble, and accidentally kiss him?

Kiss him! This chance won’t come again! At worst, just play innocent and apologize afterward—you’re a girl, he can’t do anything to you! And it’s just a touch of lips; he can’t accuse you of sexual harassment!

Xiang Di was screaming inwardly.

Bai Jiangxin heard it, but he didn’t plan to dodge.

Come on.

Everything should follow its natural course. She had to dare to kiss him first, before even considering something like him entering her.