After packing up her things, Xue Ling walked up to Wen Jiuzhe.
She was only coming over to greet him according to social etiquette, planning that after he said it was nothing, or simply ignored her, she would go back to the dorm to eat a late-night snack to soothe the emotional damage she had just suffered.
But Wen Jiuzhe instead asked her, “Why didn’t you just refuse him directly?”
Xue Ling was surprised that he would suddenly ask this, and after a brief pause, she smiled helplessly. “I’m not very good at refusing people.”
Not knowing how to refuse was a problem Xue Ling had developed since childhood.
When she was very young, her parents divorced. In order to successfully get divorced, and also to obtain her custody, after a long period of tug-of-war negotiations, her mother finally voluntarily gave up the family’s savings and house, and left with her almost completely penniless.
Taking a young child who needed care and going out to work, the pressure of life weighed heavily on her single mother.
Her mother would often lose her temper for no apparent reason, and then suddenly sit in the living room and cry bitterly. The young Xue Ling was very afraid of her mother getting angry, and even more afraid of her mother crying.
So Xue Ling knew from a very young age that she must not make her mother angry or upset; it was because of her that her mother was living such a hard life.
Xue Ling had always been an obedient, sensible child, so later, when her mother needed to go work in another city and could no longer take her along, entrusting her to her uncle’s family, Xue Ling, who had only just started elementary school, did not cry or make a fuss, and obediently agreed.
Her uncle’s home was not large, and Xue Ling had to live together with her cousin, who was two years older than her.
When she first went to her uncle’s house, her cousin cried and made a scene, refusing to let her enter the room, saying that it was her home and her room, that she didn’t want her to come and steal it, and threw her small bag out the door.
Over the matter of her staying in the house, her cousin quarreled noisily for a long time. Even though she later accepted living together, when playing or getting angry occasionally, she would still say, “This is my home, I don’t want you living in my home.”
It was only after the two gradually grew up and became sensible that she stopped saying things about driving her away.
When people later talked about these childhood incidents again, they all treated them as jokes at the dinner table, teasing the two cousins about how they fought when they were young, yet grew up to have such a good relationship.
Living under someone else’s roof, day after day, gradually shaped a Xue Ling who had no temper.
She didn’t dare lose her temper like her cousin, crying whenever she wanted to cry, making a fuss whenever she wanted to make a fuss. She also rarely made any requests that might trouble others, whether it was for a new schoolbag, notebooks and pens for a new term, toys, or new clothes and shoes.
She would take the initiative to help with cleaning, help her aunt cook, and even when washing her own shoes, she wouldn’t forget to wash her cousin’s shoes as well.
Everyone praised her for being obedient and sensible, but Xue Ling was only afraid that they would think she was not well-behaved and drive her out.
Even though she knew that she would not be casually driven away, that kind of panic—of being able to be driven out at any time with nowhere to go—still ran through her childhood and adolescence.
Only during holidays and festivals, when her mother returned from working away from home, did she feel a sense of security, as if her feet were finally touching solid ground.
After graduating from high school, her mother said she had grown up and that her own task was complete. She entered into marriage for the second time, found her a stepfather, and settled in another place with him.
Seeing the look of relief on her mother’s face, Xue Ling refused to go with her to the new family, choosing instead to rent a place to live on her own.
Not only in front of relatives, but also at school, Xue Ling was a widely acknowledged good person with no temper.
If someone asked her for help, even if she was put in a difficult position, as long as they pleaded a bit more, she would agree.
She was afraid that others would get angry because they were refused, afraid that others would dislike her and ignore her.
Everyone said she was gentle and kind, with no temper. Hearing it said so often, Xue Ling gradually really boxed herself into other people’s words. In order to cater to the praise and expectations of those around her, she unconsciously tried to please everyone.
This hopeless “old chronic illness” continued into university. Because of her inability to refuse, it brought her a lot of trouble, and among all of it, what troubled Xue Ling the most were the various pursuits and confessions.
She actually was not very beautiful, more of a modest, girl-next-door type; her looks, just like her temper and personality, were harmless.
It was precisely because of this that it was the worst. Because girls who were especially beautiful, on the contrary, would not have many boys daring to pursue them, but someone like her—many boys would confidently feel that they could come and try their luck.
Most of them did not really like her; they simply felt she was suitable to be a girlfriend, and that the probability of being rejected by her was lower.
Even if they were rejected by her, because she did not speak harshly, they would feel that she was refusing while welcoming, and would not give up.
When Xue Ling stood in front of Wen Jiuzhe, a boy she could not be said to be familiar with, and helplessly said, “I’m not very good at refusing,” she had already thought of how that Wu-someone who had just failed in his confession would continue to pester her.
Her mood was terrible and low, and she had lost the strength to continue talking to anyone.
Wen Jiuzhe, standing in front of her, said, “You don’t know how to refuse people? I don’t believe it.”
His expression carried a hint of disapproval and faint teasing.
Xue Ling didn’t know why she suddenly became anxious, and explained, “Really, I—”
Wen Jiuzhe cut her off, propping one hand on the railing as he smiled and said, “Then be my girlfriend, how about it?”
Xue Ling froze again, staring at the look of watching a show on his face, and, as if possessed, nodded her head.
Now Wen Jiuzhe was the one who froze. He had only meant to choke her with a retort, and had not expected that she would actually agree just like that.
He fell silent for a moment, looked her up and down with a strange gaze, and said, “Alright, now I believe it.”
Xue Ling was so embarrassed she wished she could crawl into the trash can beside her. Just now, her brain had completely short-circuited—
“Tell me, what were you thinking?” Wen Jiuzhe seemed to be trying to understand her line of thought.
Xue Ling forced herself to suppress the urge to run away from embarrassment, and under Wen Jiuzhe’s gaze, squeezed out a reasonable explanation from the folds of her brain:
“Because, um, that boy just now will definitely come look for me again, it’s happened before too, this kind of thing is quite troublesome, so I thought if I got a boyfriend, then this kind of thing wouldn’t happen again…”
The real reason, she found it a bit hard to say out loud.
If the person who had just confessed looked like an ordinary boy, and the previous Wen Xuan looked like a handsome guy, then the Wen Jiuzhe in front of her was a super handsome guy with an amazing build and a captivating aura—someone people would look at twice when he walked down the street.
She had been momentarily dazzled by his looks, lost her focus, and nodded.
After listening to her explanation, Wen Jiuzhe nodded. “Alright, then that’s how it is.”
What did “that’s how it is” mean? Xue Ling was again curling her toes inside her slippers, wishing time could flow backward so she would not have come over to talk to him.
“Then we’re boyfriend and girlfriend now. Oh, I forgot to say, my name is Wen Jiuzhe.”
“Ah… my name is Xue Ling.”
She stared blankly as Wen Jiuzhe stood up, tilted her head back to see his chin, and heard him snort out a soft laugh.
Just like that, they inexplicably and casually confirmed their relationship.
Wen Jiuzhe was a very vile guy. This was something Xue Ling deeply realized not long after confirming their relationship.
At that time, the sentence he said most often was: “You don’t get angry? I don’t believe it.”
Then he would start doing shameless things. Strangely enough, she had endured so many blood-pressure-raising things in the past, yet every time, Wen Jiuzhe could casually push her straight to a breaking point.
When it came to provoking her anger, Wen Jiuzhe had endless tricks and was exceptionally enthusiastic about it, and the results he obtained were well worth his efforts.
Xue Ling, who had been a soft, temperless lump of dough for twenty years, was baked by him into a hard Russian big rye bread.
Everyone who knew Xue Ling said she had changed, that she had become much more irritable.
The friends who often surrounded her and asked her for help became fewer, and the boys who expressed liking for her and flirted with her at every opportunity were gone as well.
They sighed that after she got a boyfriend, her temper had gotten worse and worse, and they didn’t dare provoke her.
That’s right—her temper was raised by Wen Jiuzhe.
It had only been a little over a year; he had easily turned her into a completely different person.
Xue Ling had once thought that Wen Jiuzhe’s indifferent breakup with her—was it because he felt that she had changed?
Didn’t boys have a classic breakup reason? That one: “How did you become different from before?”
Could it really be this reason? Damn Wen Jiuzhe, this was clearly his own doing!
Xue Ling suddenly got angry. She no longer internalized and doubted herself; now when she got angry, she was going to go crazy! Go crazy!
She propped her head up from the passenger seat, glanced at the road ahead—it was still relatively clear—and suddenly raised her hand and fiercely punched Wen Jiuzhe, who was driving beside her.
Wen Jiuzhe hissed and shrank back a little. “I don’t think I provoked you, what’s wrong?”
Xue Ling turned a deaf ear, flailing her limbs wildly, slamming the back of her head against the seatback.
“Stop hitting yourself, your head’s already getting flat—if you keep hitting it like that, it’ll be flattened,” Wen Jiuzhe said, reaching out to place his hand behind the back of her head.
Inside the cramped car, there were thumps and bangs everywhere. Wen Jiuzhe pulled over to the roadside, let go of her, and carried her out of the car.
“Come on, move your arms and legs to your heart’s content out here.” He squatted by the roadside and looked at her. “Why are you like a cat, causing trouble as soon as you’re shut inside the car?”
Xue Ling ignored him and wandered around nearby. Wen Jiuzhe followed along leisurely. When she finally calmed down, Wen Jiuzhe picked her up again and stuffed her back into the car, then continued driving forward.
He didn’t know where they were going. Other than stopping to let her get out and walk around when Xue Ling suddenly went crazy and made a fuss, he hadn’t rested much. Even eating was done while driving, casually making do with convenient compressed rations and canned food.
After passing a stretch of unobstructed road, the next section was a small road that hadn’t seen vehicles for a long time. Wen Jiuzhe had to get out and push aside the cars that were blocking the road at all angles.
His strength had always been great; now it was even more astonishing. Smaller cars could be pushed aside by himself using a crowbar, muscles tensed.
For larger ones, he would tie a rope to the car and pull it, and those could be cleared as well.
While he was clearing the road, Xue Ling wandered around nearby.
The desolate world, covered in dust, was filled with abandoned cars and buildings as far as the eye could see, as well as abandoned zombies.
Xue Ling walked a bit farther and saw several of the same kind wandering nearby.
These wild zombies were everywhere. She herself had once been wild too—now she had been caught. The human who caught her hadn’t noticed her and quickly came looking.
The wild ones smelled food and pounced excitedly, only to be taken out by him with a crowbar.
“You ran too far—I couldn’t even see you,” he said, holding the blood-soaked crowbar, grabbing her arm, and leading her back to the car.
Taking advantage of him getting out of the car again to push vehicles aside, Xue Ling slipped off in another direction.
By the roadside, she saw a drainage pipe entrance overgrown with weeds, bent down, and slowly squeezed herself inside.
The dried-up pipe was very clean; aside from a bit of dust, there was nothing. Xue Ling lay quietly inside.
She had slept in this kind of pipe before to avoid humans. It was actually quite nice—quiet and clean. There was just that one time when it rained heavily in the middle of the night, and she had nearly been drowned.
Not long after, she heard Wen Jiuzhe calling out.
“Xue Ling.”
“Xue Ling.”
“Xue Ling.”
He called her name, his voice sometimes far, sometimes near.
When no one responded, he stopped calling.
Right—zombies couldn’t understand anyway, what was the point of calling a name. Xue Ling thought, remaining completely still.
The wind stirred the wild grass at the mouth of the pipe, swaying back and forth.
The grass swayed for a long while, until a large, rough hand parted the clump of weeds. Wen Jiuzhe squatted at the pipe entrance and leaned down, smiling as he asked, “Playing hide-and-seek with me? You hid really well.”
Wen Jiuzhe was tireless, once again rummaging her out and taking her back.
The seventh tentative escape—failed.
On the way back with him, Xue Ling thought: everyone said she had a good temper, but actually Wen Jiuzhe was the one with the best temper. She had never seen Wen Jiuzhe get angry.
Sometimes she was also quite curious what Wen Jiuzhe looked like when he got angry.
But like this—she deliberately hid and made him search for a long time—and he still didn’t get angry.
Author’s note:
Their meeting and the way they confirmed their relationship have a different flavor from Wen Jiuzhe’s perspective, but that part of the story comes later 🙂
