Lin Yuanjin looked at the young man’s well-defined hand wrapping around hers, as if wanting to pass his body warmth to her little by little, so that her hand would not be so cold.
“It’s not you who was wrong, what are you apologizing for.” Lin Yuanjin retorted, her smile carrying a trace of stubbornness.
As if she was not only refuting for Cui Yiyu, but also for herself.
The one who harmed her was someone with ill intent, the one who tried to manipulate her was the power of the powerful, yet the one who ended up apologizing to her was the person who saved her.
What kind of logic is this?
“In this world, aside from you, there is no one who treats me well.” Lin Yuanjin said in a coaxing tone tinged with sweetness, like the sweet words between newlyweds.
However, this was in fact the most genuine truth in her heart.
“Nonsense.” Cui Yiyu refuted in a low voice, yet did not bring up anyone to refute her.
Because he knew that at this moment, no matter who he brought up to argue would be incomparably pale, and would instead make the cruel truth stand out even more clearly, stabbing at the heart.
A normal noble young lady of a prestigious family marrying the Crown Prince as the principal wife would inevitably bring with her trusted attendants from her own family, eager to take charge of the household, alert the servants, suppress the concubines, and stabilize her position within the residence.
What about her? She had nothing.
The people arranged for Lin Yuanjin by the Lin family each had their own thoughts and plans; it would already be good enough if they did not stir up trouble for her, how could they possibly help her in any way?
Compared to those who had the will but not the ability, Lin Yuanjin seemed not even to have that will.
If the steward wanted to arrange people by her side, then let them arrange; if the Emperor wanted to place people by her side, then let him place them.
As long as it let her worry a little less, as long as it did not harm her, she allowed others to fight among themselves, even if those around her were all informants, she did not care.
Lin Yuanjin seemed to have pessimistically concluded that her life might suddenly end at any moment; she only needed to strive to finish what she wanted to do before she died.
“The Crown Princess is unwell at present, Your Highness should…” Matron Zhang glanced at the palace attendants nearby and reminded with a smile.
“No need, I will speak with the Crown Princess.” Cui Yiyu shook his head, signaling the others to withdraw.
Matron Zhang understood, gave Lin Yuanjin a meaningful smile, and turned to leave.
Lin Yuanjin watched as the others’ figures disappeared from the room, leaving only the sound of the two of them breathing, before looking at Cui Yiyu: “You went to the study today to speak with Father Emperor, do you now have a statement to align with me?”
Cui Yiyu had deliberately dismissed the others, so he must have something confidential and important to discuss with her.
At present, the only matter at hand was the Empress wanting her to feign illness and the matter concerning the Crown Prince.
“Yes.” Cui Yiyu nodded, not avoiding moving a little closer, leaning near Lin Yuanjin’s ear, speaking in a voice that only the two of them could hear, “Today I…”
Lin Yuanjin felt the light breath and warmth by her ear; her ear could not help but turn red. The young man’s youthful yet hoarse voice carried a strange hook—though his words were plain and concise, they seemed able to bewitch the heart.
The entire room fell into a peculiar stillness.
Only the sound of heartbeats, breathing, and the whisper by her ear.
Lin Yuanjin felt that she was listening intently; every word entered her mind, yet her attention unconsciously drifted.
Cui Yiyu’s voice paused, seemingly sensing her quietness. He shifted slightly, turned his head to look at her, and saw her pupils unfocused, as if she were distracted: “Are you feeling unwell?”
“I heard.” Lin Yuanjin blinked, looking at him seriously, proving that she had been seriously aligning the statement, “Your Highness is infatuated with this concubine’s beauty; beneath the warm hibiscus curtains, you lost your restraint.”
Cui Yiyu’s expression froze.
He had not said that.
“You need not worry, before I was married off, the nannies already taught me how to be a Crown Princess, how to quickly bear heirs.” Seeing his slight discomfort, Lin Yuanjin had just smiled when she could not help but cough twice, the pain making her eyes redden a little. “Though I have not engaged in such matters, I know what it is about.”
Her brows curved as she promised, “Trust me, I will not cause you trouble.”
If something were to happen to the Crown Prince now, the one who would die would only be him.
So even if someone wanted to test her, she would not give herself away.
“Your Highness is clever, beyond what I can match.” There was no longer the faint, feigned smile on Cui Yiyu’s face; it was as if the shadows under the lamp surfaced before one’s eyes, leaving only pure silence.
His crow-feather-like eyelashes drooped slightly, casting a thin shadow upon his fair face. The crimson robe on his body was like shackles entwining him, adding a vivid color that did not belong to him to the pure black and white.
It was not that it was not good-looking, only that it did not suit him as well.
Lin Yuanjin raised her hand, her fingertips touching Cui Yiyu’s cheek. The warmth of a young body carried a moving heat, yet she suddenly paused, asking in confusion, “You’re not avoiding it?”
In the past, he would always avoid it.
“If the Crown Princess likes this face, that is fine.” Cui Yiyu slowly raised his eyes, quietly looking at Lin Yuanjin, the corners of his lips slightly curved, like an obedient puppet. “It is nothing more than a skin; being pleasing is also good.”
Lin Yuanjin’s fingers against his cheek paused, then withdrew as if scalded, her fingers clenching, nails pressing into her palm, looking at him in disbelief: “You are insulting me.”
“I would not dare.” Cui Yiyu stiffened all over, clearly not expecting Lin Yuanjin to say this, and could only watch as her face turned pale, as if suddenly pierced.
“I am merely an object…” Cui Yiyu softened his voice, his arm halted in midair, as if facing a piece of porcelain that would shatter at a touch, while he himself was an unskilled martial man who had lost his measure, completely at a loss.
“But I have not treated you as an object.” Lin Yuanjin looked at him with sorrow, quietly and obediently pressing her lips together, slightly dazed.
As if invisible teardrops fell.
Drop by drop, falling onto the back of the young man’s hand.
Scalding hot, carrying an emotion that made one at a loss, that originally did not belong to him.
What Lin Yuanjin liked was a living, breathing person, the one who saved her, who protected her.
Even if her liking, as analyzed in the present world, arose from the suspension bridge effect, seeming fleeting and exceedingly shallow, it was still her rare, first time possessing such a feeling.
It was the Crown Prince, the Empress—those self-important powerful figures—who treated him as an object; that did not mean he truly was one.
If Lin Yuanjin truly only liked that face, then why would she long yet hold back, restrain herself in every way, and when she finally harbored a calculating thought, it was only to hold his hand?
The Crown Prince was not dead!
“It is my fault.” Cui Yiyu’s gaze wavered.
“You are not wrong, it is not your fault.” Lin Yuanjin withdrew her gaze, turning her head as if indifferent, “It is merely a difference in views. I do not like that you belittle yourself, but my preference is not important.”
Even her sulking did not seem directed at others, but at herself.
Cui Yiyu would rather Lin Yuanjin be dissatisfied with him than see her persuade herself, yet the more he thought, the more distressed he became.
“Your Highness is kind-hearted, lenient toward others everywhere.” Cui Yiyu said softly, “But many people are unworthy of your kindness.”
“Whether they are worthy or not, is that not for me to decide?” Lin Yuanjin gave a light snort and retorted.
“Yesterday, the Lin family maid attempted to carry out an act of seducing her master right in front of you—why did Your Highness not deal with it?” Cui Yiyu said patiently.
“You noticed?” Lin Yuanjin asked in surprise.
“She was right before my eyes, how could I not see?” Cui Yiyu seemed somewhat puzzled, as if she were questioning his powers of observation.
Lin Yuanjin paused, staring at Cui Yiyu, yet still could not discern any additional emotion within his dark eyes, and merely turned her head away: “Whether the maid acted of her own will or under someone’s orders, wanting to climb the branches is only human nature.”
“Since she made that decision, she must bear all the risks of this act and of the future.”
Cui Yiyu had seen many noble ladies of high-ranking families; on the surface they were gentle and compliant, socially adept, yet when dealing with others they showed no mercy, their methods ruthless.
Just like Lin Yuanjin’s elder legitimate sister, Lin Weiyin, was the same.
“It is not that I will completely ignore it, only that in this matter, I will not interfere.” Lin Yuanjin frowned and added, clearly not thinking herself as kind as he described.
If others wanted to harm her, she upheld the principle of repaying grievance directly, and would not sit still and await death.
Lin Yuanjin thought for a moment, pressed her lips in slight dejection, then turned her head away and said very softly, “It is also because the one she wanted to seduce is the Crown Prince.”
Whether it was this maid or Cui Xinyi, what they wanted was the Crown Prince; they wanted the Crown Prince’s favor, to bear his children.
Lin Yuanjin did not even have enough time to wish them well—how could she speak of stopping them?
She did not care about the Crown Prince.
After saying this, Lin Yuanjin shifted her position and lay down, pulling the blanket to cover half her face, silently staring at Cui Yiyu.
The hair by her temples was slightly damp, perhaps soaked earlier by cold sweat; fine strands curled slightly and clung to her ear. Even though her face had been worn down by injury and illness, her youthful softness could still be seen.
She had only just reached her coming-of-age.
“If you feel unwell, then sleep.” Cui Yiyu lowered his eyes as if in a silent sigh, quietly looking at Lin Yuanjin, reaching out to tuck the blanket for her, “I will keep watch here.”
Perhaps that word “watch” unknowingly touched some door in her heart; Lin Yuanjin looked at his slender yet upright back and thought again of the time when she had depended on him for survival.
Though that could only be said to be her one-sided dependence, perhaps?
After a long while, Lin Yuanjin gave a low “mm,” then extended a hand from the edge of the blanket, silently looking at Cui Yiyu.
Now that there were no informants nearby to pressure him, if he wanted to refuse, he naturally could.
By the desk, the golden beast-shaped incense burner released thin wisps of smoke; the faint scent of calming incense lingered in the room, blending with the quiet air.
Cui Yiyu turned his back to Lin Yuanjin, looking at the tightly shut window, the empty doorway, the faint sound of palace maids passing outside. His palm lightly, silently, fell upon her fingers, just barely touching a little, all concealed beneath the wide sleeve.
Her hand was still very cold, as if it could not be warmed.
Wait a little longer.
Cui Yiyu’s eyes were hollow as he quietly gazed into the distance; within his refined, picture-like features, there was a lifeless stillness that ordinary people would instinctively resist.
He was not a splendidly dressed noble youth of Yujing, nor a wandering swordsman with a silver saddle and white horse. In order to survive, his hands were stained with the blood of others, and in the end, it was only by relying on this face that he obtained his current identity as a substitute.
Cui Yiyu saved the Crown Princess only because of the Crown Prince’s order, not out of his own will.
He would not save people without reason; even if it had not been him that day, it would have been someone else.
He had no talent, no virtue, no ability, far from as good as the Crown Princess imagined, and even less worthy of her liking.
Even if this liking was only due to the grace of saving her life.
Fortunately, he had seen many, many people—some older, some younger; whether powerful nobles or commoners, affection was like the udumbara flower, fleeting and gone in an instant.
Cui Yiyu slowly closed his eyes, listening to the light breathing behind him, as if each heartbeat fell into his ears.
After some more time passed, the Crown Princess would realize just how insignificant he was, and how spending effort on him was a…
