Luo Yuan returned to the old residence at last before the sun went down. As the car entered the mountain forest and she saw from afar the red-pillared archway and lanterns along the mountain path, she suddenly felt a sense of coming home. Ever since the younger sister who had depended on her left, her home had vanished, but now, she once again had a new home.
Even after thousands of years passed, even if people and events underwent earth-shaking changes, the clan deity would still remain here. Compared to the brief and uncertain lives of humans, he was like eternity itself. Whenever she thought of this, Luo Yuan felt exceedingly at ease.
The guest from the Liang clan had already left. After saying a string of seemingly meaningful yet vague things, and seeing she had no reaction, she had snorted a laugh and gone. It seemed she truly had only come to glance at her casually. And apart from her, no other clan-related people had come. Luo Yuan guessed in her heart that there were likely many intricate and complicated relationships among the clans; appearing friendly did not necessarily mean true friendliness, and appearing unfriendly did not necessarily mean true hostility.
She got out of the car at the gate of the old residence, and the suited bodyguard who had gone out with her carefully unloaded the rose bush from the car. To help it survive better after transplantation, many of its branches, leaves, and buds had been trimmed. Bare and sparse, it was not very pretty.
From the many trimmed-off rose branches, Luo Yuan picked those with full and beautiful blooms, tied them all together, and made a bouquet. Hugged in her arms, the huge bouquet almost covered her entire face. She had kept it in good condition all the way back; it looked as fresh and dewy as if just cut from the branch.
She carried the flowers to see the clan deity, like a newly married husband who had gone out to work and, upon returning home, brought flowers to coax his wife. Her steps were light; even the clan woman holding an umbrella for her could barely keep up.
“The sun has already set, you don’t need to hold the umbrella for me anymore.” Luo Yuan saw the setting sun, smiled at the old lady beside her, hugged the flowers, and ran a few quick steps before lifting her foot to step into the shrine courtyard.
The courtyard belonging to the clan deity divided the world into inside and outside, as if an invisible boundary. Within it, the air was even more tranquil, the passage of time even slower. The faint fragrance of flowers mixed with the incense smoke that had accumulated over the years. The elaborate carvings of the splendid shrine roof caught the last bit of light from the sky, gilded and brilliant; a moment later, the radiance faded and returned to deep darkness and stillness.
Luo Yuan’s footsteps unconsciously grew steady. Very strangely, in front of the clan deity, she greatly wished to show her mature and steady side; yet her heart suddenly seemed to regress into that of a young girl—always a bit flighty and impulsive, wanting to act spoiled toward him.
“Clan deity… I’m back.” Holding the flowers, she walked into the shrine and saw a faint red glow slowly light up in the originally pitch-black shrine, instantly illuminating the entire space.
The clan deity sat upright on the divine platform, still in the same posture, but—his expression and appearance had changed!
The clan deity who had turned into a young man looked as though carved from ice and snow, still black hair and white robes, the black darker, the white whiter. The former gentle warmth like a spring breeze brushing the face was gone; only the sharpness of wind-blades and frost-swords, the hardness of cold stone and jade, remained.
Luo Yuan stopped walking, staring blankly at the cold, indifferent clan deity before her. All the rumors she had heard in the past suddenly surged up in her mind. She knew his temperament changed each time he slept and awakened; she had even asked him to confirm it before.
Judging from the timing, when she died, the clan deity should have just gone through his sleep and awakening. But yesterday morning she had clearly seen the gentle clan deity—why had he changed the moment she returned today? Behind her, the clan women’s expressions were as usual, respectful as always. They were long accustomed to the clan deity’s changes.
Setting down the rose tree Luo Yuan had brought back, the two women withdrew naturally.
Luo Yuan stood in the shrine hugging the flowers, suddenly feeling the night breeze was a bit cold; it should not have been this cold at this time of night. She trembled slightly, yet still hugged the flowers and slowly walked toward the clan deity, lifting the bouquet and offering it to him, just like when she had once offered him paper-folded camellias.
“This is… the flower I wanted to give you.”
When the words left her mouth, there was a trace of hesitation. The eagerness and irrepressible joy from before were now like flowers struck by cold rain, scattered and broken. In her heart was a faint discomfort she could not quite articulate.
This is the clan deity, the one I know and like. Although his expression is different, it’s still him, he remembers. Luo Yuan stressed this repeatedly in her heart, unwilling to let herself show rejection toward this slightly unfamiliar version of him.
The clan deity looked at her coldly for quite a while, finally extending a hand from his sleeve and taking the bouquet from her.
Luo Yuan subtly relaxed her tense shoulders, slowly letting out a breath, revealing a bit of unsure helplessness.
Just then, the clan deity’s other hand extended from his sleeve. His fist was closed. He lifted it toward her and, under her puzzled gaze, turned his hand and opened his palm—revealing a red camellia.
A few thin, bright-red petals surrounded and protected the golden stamens at its center.
Looking at the red camellia in his palm, Luo Yuan was stunned for a long moment, then suddenly felt a joy like surviving a great catastrophe. The unease and discomfort in her heart were instantly taken away by this flower. She reached out and took the camellia, lifted her head, revealed an affectionate smile, and finally said the words she had wanted to say on the road:
“I saw a rose tree over there that looked very beautiful, and I wanted to transplant it here. But the gardener said that for it to survive, all the branches and leaves had to be trimmed off. I felt it was such a pity, but I really wanted you to see what it looked like in bloom, so I brought back all the flowers that were cut.”
“Do you like this flower?” As she spoke, her gaze tightly fixed on the clan deity’s cold expression. Though he looked indifferent, he still answered her question.
“This flower blooms very fiercely.”
That means he likes it. Luo Yuan carefully discerned the clan deity’s mood. Her hand tightened around the red camellia, and she tentatively reached out, placing her hand atop the cold, white back of his.
The clan deity neither pushed her away nor showed any sign of rejection, allowing her to touch him as she wished.
Luo Yuan’s heart was like a flower—earlier curled into a tight bud, now slowly relaxing and gently blooming under this slight test.
She rested her head on the knee of this cold clan deity, unable to hold back her disappointment. “…You’ve become another version of yourself.”
“Mm.”
The roses she brought back were very fragrant, far stronger than the faint, gentle scent of camellias. With such a large bouquet placed at the clan deity’s side, its scent had clung to him as well. Touched by an unfamiliar fragrance, he seemed to carry a hint of unfamiliarity too. Luo Yuan felt a trace of panic rise in her heart, and without noticing, she gripped his cold, fragrant hand more tightly.
“What is it?”
From those three words, Luo Yuan managed to hear a trace of concern. She shook her head, her hair swaying upon the clan deity’s knee.
“Nothing, I just missed you.” If she had known he would change so soon, she wouldn’t have left in such a hurry yesterday morning.
In the shrine illuminated by the red glow, the clan deity’s indifferent expression was like a mask painted onto his face, even his eyes stared woodenly at the wife resting on his knee. “You’re not used to my appearance?”
Luo Yuan felt as if she had done something wrong. She lowered her head and pressed her lips together. “I’ll get used to it very soon.”
“In that case, I understand.” He pulled Luo Yuan up.
A bit dazed, Luo Yuan let herself be pulled forward, falling into his embrace—only for her vision to suddenly darken, swallowed by that churning, viscous blackness. It was the place she had come to two days ago wearing her wedding robes.
The clan deity sank within the darkness just like that day. Upon seeing her, he opened his eyes and gave her a slight smile. “Come here.”
Seeing his smile, Luo Yuan’s eyes instantly lit up. The restraint she had planned to maintain before arriving vanished all at once. She felt a sudden joy of regaining something once lost.
She lunged forward, tightly embracing the clan deity who would smile gently at her, desperately inhaling the scent on his body.
The clan deity sighed with slight frustration. “All of them are me, how can your reactions be so different?”
Luo Yuan wrapped her arms around his neck, somewhat embarrassed. “You… why are you like this here, and then like that just now?”
The clan deity smoothed her hair, which she had mussed by rubbing against him, and said gently, “They are only masks. Just and strict, cold and impartial, merciful and kind… all masks the clan has placed upon me. Only here is my true appearance.”
Luo Yuan became thoughtful. Because this place was actually where the clan deity’s power resided—inside his porcelain statue?
“Don’t be afraid. They are only different masks. In essence, all of them are me.”
Comforted by his attitude, Luo Yuan finally felt completely at ease. She found his hand and gently squeezed his thumb. “Mm, I’m not afraid. There’s still a long time ahead. I will definitely grow used to every version of you.”
Similar words—when she said them the first time, it had been a nervous promise. This second time, it was full of the intention to coax him happily.
The clan deity smiled. “Just now, when you suddenly returned and saw me, the way you got startled was rather cute.” Especially the little actions she made while timidly testing whether he was angry—interesting, very interesting. If she hadn’t truly been frightened, he would not have brought her here to comfort her. It would have been nice to watch her a bit longer.
The clan deity’s sudden mischievousness made Luo Yuan’s heart itch with impulse. She lifted her head and looked straight at him, saying the words she had been thinking of the entire way back. “May I give you a personal form of address?”
The clan deity tilted his head. “Hm?”
Luo Yuan said, “You are their clan deity, the revered symbol worshiped by all the Qin family. But to me, you are different. You are someone tangible—someone I can see and touch. When you’re by my side, I can’t think of you as just a god. So I don’t want to call you clan deity.”
The clan deity quietly listened to her bold, unreserved confession. In his pitch-black eyes, a faint point of light shimmered like the moon reflected on a lake, making the surface ripple gently.
He asked, “What do you want to call me?”
Luo Yuan drew in a breath. “I want to call you…Er-ge (Second Brother).”
Seeing that the clan deity did not show any objection, she nervously and shyly explained, “In my hometown, a wife sometimes calls her husband ge. When I was young, my mother would call my father Da-ge, because he was first in the family’s birth order.”
And when the clan deity had still been a divine fetus, the Qin family had the custom of separating the sorting of males and females. He ranked second, so he was Er-ge (Second Brother).
In her hometown, spouses using this term was something very intimate, usually only spoken when the relationship was very close.
“I want to call you Er-ge. Is that okay?”
“Alright.” The clan deity gazed at her eagerly expectant face, his voice gentle. “You may call me Er-ge.”
To him, it was an utterly new form of address. In that era thousands of years ago, everyone simply called names. Even younger siblings did not call him Second Brother, but a more formal Elder Brother.
But when she said Er-ge, there was an inexplicable lingering intimacy to it. Just like her arms currently wrapped around his neck—clearly soft and delicate, yet insistent and unwavering.
Luo Yuan licked her slightly dry lips. “Then… you can call me Yuan. My parents and friends used to call me that.”
But the clan deity smiled and called her, “An.”
“I was born from humans. An is me, and also not me. I acknowledge this name, but it has long been forgotten. Now I give this name to you. From this moment on, you are also my An.”
