Having been “washed” once by her ex-boyfriend, Xue Ling had already reached enlightenment. She was too lazy even to act like a zombie, just sitting there stiffly without moving.
Wen Jiuzhe was combing her hair, smoothing out the slightly tangled strands, then sat off to the side to study the pile of skincare products he had found.
Holding the boxes and bottles, he read the words on them and muttered to himself: “The bottles are all in English… oh, toner and lotion. Why is this one all in Russian…”
He poured out some liquid from the bottle, rubbed it between his fingers, then smelled it, confirming: “It’s water.”
Then, facing the pile of skincare products, he pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to recall:
“What was your skincare routine after washing your face before? It seems like first pat on water? Then lotion? Cream? And there was oil too, when do you use the oil?”
He activated his clever little brain and looked at Xue Ling as if seeking confirmation: “Oil doesn’t dissolve in water, so you can’t use them together. That means you apply water first, then oil, right?”
Right your head! Xue Ling couldn’t take it anymore!
Seeing her about to riot again, Wen Jiuzhe quickly reached out and pressed her down once more.
He trapped the unruly zombie in his arms, using his knee to pin her hands and waist together, then used the web of his thumb to clamp the zombie’s chin and lift her face.
“Don’t rush, it’ll be done soon.” As he spoke, his other hand had already squeezed out that “water” and was about to pat it onto Xue Ling’s face.
Xue Ling struggled desperately, wanting badly to curse aloud. Wen Jiuzhe lifted her chin and closed her mouth.
“I’m doing skincare for you, don’t fuss. You were pretty well-behaved during the bath just now.”
The Xue Ling who didn’t need to breathe felt an illusion of not being able to catch her breath in one gulp.
Why don’t you take a proper look? That bottle of “water” is makeup remover, not toner! Who starts skincare by patting makeup remover on their face?!
Are you blind?!
Wen Jiuzhe firmly followed the routine he had reasoned out and finished her skincare.
After his chaotic round of skincare, Xue Ling felt like she looked even more haggard, and she no longer had the energy to resist that sunflower-print dress.
She let the yellow, ugly dress be pulled over her.
Really, thanks a lot—at least Wen Jiuzhe remembered to put underwear on her, and the size was passably appropriate.
“All done, now you look exactly the same as before.” Wen Jiuzhe sized her up and said with a smile.
Xue Ling’s face was blank.
Exactly the same? Fine, fine—so in your eyes, when I was alive before, I already looked like this, with a greenish complexion and red veins, this dead look, huh.
Wen Jiuzhe kept smiling as he looked at her. Suddenly, he cupped her face with both hands and squeezed gently.
The motion was very familiar, awakening some of Xue Ling’s memories.
Before, when she was laughing just fine, Wen Jiuzhe would often suddenly squeeze her face like this, squeezing out a face full of question marks.
Asked why—because his hands were itchy.
Xue Ling heard the man whose hands were itchy again ask softly and gently: “How did you turn into a zombie?”
“And when was it… that you became a zombie?”
…I’m just saying, you’re asking way too late.
The cleaned-up Xue Ling sat under a big tree outside the courtyard gate of this household. Wen Jiuzhe brought her a chair and placed it under the tree, and somehow even found a forest-style wide-brimmed straw hat to put on her head to block the sun.
“I’m going to take a shower. I’ll be quick. Wait here, don’t run around.”
Xue Ling really wanted to run, but she knew that if she didn’t even make it two hundred meters, Wen Jiuzhe would catch up to her.
She was a two-wheel-drive zombie—no way she could outrun four-wheel-drive Wen Jiuzhe.
And judging by how he was treating a zombie like a living girlfriend right now, it was obvious his mental state was abnormal. Xue Ling didn’t really dare provoke him anymore.
Who said only the living are afraid of lunatics? The dead are afraid of lunatics too.
Feeling the small breeze under the tree and smelling the shower gel scent on herself, Xue Ling thought, forget it—if Wen Jiuzhe wants to keep her, then let him. He probably won’t be able to keep it up for long anyway.
At a street corner in the distance, two men watched Xue Ling from afar, leaning close together and whispering as they discussed.
They were brothers, active around Anxi City since the apocalypse began, living by robbing passersby.
There were many road bandits like them—usually groups of three to five men, lying in ambush by the roadside, targeting people or cars traveling alone.
At a time like this, anyone who still dared to drive around with just one or two people was usually a capable character, with plenty of supplies on hand. Robbing even one such target meant a huge profit.
The two brothers rarely encountered such fat sheep near Anxi City. When they saw Wen Jiuzhe’s car, they were unusually greedy.
A modified vehicle, high chassis—not like their beat-up car they’d been driving for years.
“Brother, do we move now?”
“Move. You pry open the car door, I’ll restrain the woman.”
The younger, dark and burly man leered at the slender back in the dress and egged on:
“Brother, later let’s take that woman too. It’s been so long since we’ve tasted a woman!”
His older brother, shorter and fatter, also looked eager: “Then move faster. Pry open the car door and see if we can drive it away. If we can, we’ll take the woman with us.”
The two were locals, familiar with the surrounding terrain, and had never failed in their robberies before.
They’d been drawn over a couple of days ago by that huge noise, but seeing a large convoy from afar, they hadn’t dared get close. Today they ran into a lone vehicle—by their estimate, only two people in the car, a man and a woman.
Now the man was nowhere to be seen, leaving just the woman sitting outside. It was practically a gift from the heavens.
After observing for a bit, the brothers didn’t hesitate much before deciding to act.
The older brother slowly approached Xue Ling from behind, while the younger brother went straight for the car. He had worked at a repair shop before and was very skilled at prying open and stealing cars.
The two cooperated smoothly, their plan well thought out—there was just a small mistake.
When the brother responsible for controlling Xue Ling suddenly lunged from behind, covering her mouth and nose to stop her from calling out, he abruptly sensed something was wrong and met a pair of dark red eyes belonging to a zombie.
Xue Ling, having her mouth covered by a stranger: ?
Instantly understanding the situation, a ferocious light flashed in Xue Ling’s eyes.
She couldn’t beat Wen Jiuzhe, who could fight and restrain people and had brute strength even back then—but she couldn’t beat this flabby guy?
And his arm was conveniently right by her mouth. Xue Ling didn’t hold back and bit down hard.
“Ah!” The short, fat man saw her face clearly and screamed in terror, yanking his hand away as if electrocuted, scrambling and rolling as he fled to the side.
“This woman is a zombie! She bit me!”
The panic and despair in his voice startled his younger brother, who was prying at the car door, causing him to stumble.
No wonder he was so desperate. Zombies might not be agile, but they had high defense, and they carried poison and contamination.
Letting a zombie bite your arm like that—half a day was enough to turn you into a brand-new zombie.
Seeing him scared out of his wits, scrambling and losing all composure, Xue Ling spat out the blood in her mouth.
Just as she was about to move back and sit down again, there was a bang—a gunshot.
The short, fat man who had been scrambling toward his brother pitched forward and fell to the ground, his head lolling to the side as red quickly spread beneath him.
Wen Jiuzhe strode out of the house, his body still wreathed in steam. He hadn’t had time to put on a shirt, his bare chest and abdomen exposed, his wet hair clinging to his collarbones, water dripping down nonstop.
He held a gun in his hand, his face completely expressionless. After killing one, the muzzle swung toward the dark, burly man by the car door.
The man, who looked to be in his thirties, was so frightened he immediately raised his hands to beg for mercy. “Don’t, don’t! Don’t shoot!”
He babbled a string of garbled pleas.
Xue Ling thought Wen Jiuzhe would shoot him next, sending him to join the man on the ground.
But Wen Jiuzhe didn’t fire again. He simply tied the dark, burly man up with rope.
His technique was practiced. The dark, burly man couldn’t move at all and was thrown into the courtyard.
Xue Ling watched him finish tying the man, then grab the short, fat corpse from the ground and drag it away, disappearing around a corner of the courtyard.
Before long, he came back, his hands dripping wet, and wiped at Xue Ling’s mouth.
“Let’s go sit in the courtyard instead.”
Xue Ling stared at his chest and couldn’t help thinking, those muscles… they looked like they’d have quite a chew to them.
This wasn’t baseless speculation—she had tasted them before.
Xue Ling averted her dull gaze. No, no, eating people is not allowed.
Wen Jiuzhe pushed her into the courtyard, set the chair up for her again, then went back to finish his unfinished shower. Very soon he came out wearing an especially large, loose white T-shirt.
So fast that Xue Ling suspected he hadn’t washed properly.
She watched him rub the clothes he’d changed out of, wring them dry, and casually hang them in the courtyard, then wipe the dirt from his leather boots. Finally, he took out a whetstone and began sharpening a knife.
To the sound of him sharpening the blade, the dark, burly man tied up not far from Xue Ling began to whimper and cry.
Xue Ling glanced at him, thinking, buddy, why are you crying like that—he’s sharpening a knife, not about to cut you.
After a long while, Wen Jiuzhe finished sharpening. He suddenly sighed, raised his head, and looked at Xue Ling.
“Don’t you want to eat?”
Xue Ling: “?”
She took a moment to react, finally understanding what Wen Jiuzhe meant.
If she were still human, at that moment, every last goosebump would have stood at attention.
The dark, burly man tied up beside her was prepared for her by Wen Jiuzhe.
He had been waiting all this time for her to feed.
No wonder he had tossed the man down by her feet. She had thought he was deliberately trying to scare him, thinking that evil people would naturally be dealt with by zombies.
But instead…
Xue Ling stared blankly as Wen Jiuzhe walked over and squatted in front of her, asking, “You’ve already turned into a zombie, are you still picky about food?”
His expression was calm, carrying a helpless smile. Paired with the words coming out of his mouth, it made one’s skin crawl.
“Or is it hard to bite into? Do you want me to cut it up for you?”
The last time he’d said something like that was when the two of them had gone to eat steak together.
Xue Ling’s face was so stiff she couldn’t even form an expression. She desperately wanted to grab his wet, messy hair and roar at him: Are you the zombie, or am I the zombie?!
Damn demon, ruining my cultivation. I’ve been a zombie for three years and haven’t eaten a single person, yet the moment you show up you want me to break my precepts!
She muttered inwardly, flailing her hands as she retreated away from him and from that dark, burly man.
Get away! I don’t want to!
Seeing her wandering around the courtyard with no intention of eating, Wen Jiuzhe had no choice but to give up.
He stood up again and carried the dark, burly man out.
When he came back, he rinsed the blood off the knife, tore open a packet of compressed rations, took two bites, then held it out in front of Xue Ling.
“Want to eat this?”
Xue Ling still ignored him, walking past him and finally facing the courtyard wall, pressing her forehead against it and knocking it twice.
Help, why is Wen Jiuzhe so unhinged right now?!
After quietly finishing who-knew-whether-it-was-breakfast-lunch-or-dinner, Wen Jiuzhe walked over, took her hand, and patted the white dust off her forehead. “Let’s go. We’ll change places.”
Where are you going again?
Xue Ling was stuffed into the passenger seat. Wen Jiuzhe fastened her in tightly with two seat belts, one on the left and one on the right.
As the car started moving, Xue Ling saw a bakery with shattered glass windows on the street outside and suddenly recalled the first time she met Wen Jiuzhe.
